HAIR MODEL AND ROLE MODEL

It seems like every time we have a photoshoot we get more than we ask for. There is usually a great conversation with the model or the weather is unpredictable. During the photoshoot for October, our model shared with us her life changing story. I can tell you that I was absolutely thrilled when she offered to share it on our blog too.

Ms. Paulette O'Neal brought laughter, fun, and inspiration with her that day, and below is a little bit of wisdom that she left with us.

As always enjoy!

It is a powerful thing to become an active change agent of your own life, what started you on your weight loss journey?

 

Yes, I agree.  It is a powerful thing. It takes plenty of self-motivation and drive.  

The journey began when I fell away from my own life vision.  I no longer had a relationship with myself and what was best for me. (Shaking my head)

I just had to find the divine strength to “get it together” it’s terribly hard when you are in a dark place to begin with.

One day I just woke up and realized that I wasn’t happy and I needed to take the necessary steps in order to find my true happiness and that began with ME!

Not just losing the weight, but eating healthy. Putting an apple in my mouth instead of a double cheeseburger with everything on it and cheese fries (my favorite thing to eat!!!!) So, I basically had to get back to me.

Once you decided to lose weight how did you go about making the plan to change this part of your life?

Well, a plan is definitely the key part of a successful journey.  Since I find it almost impossible to live without a calendar, I decided to make a food calendar. 

In my household once something goes up on the calendar it’s almost law.

I began a strict eating plan. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a light snack was on the calendar detailed to the “T”. 

When my stomach growled or cussed me out there wasn’t anything I could do but drink fluid because it wasn’t ON the calendar. (laughing) 

Having a support system is one of the most important elements of any major life change; tell us about yours and what keeps you motivated.

I believe that most people, no matter who they are, need a support system.  My daughters are a wonderful support for me at home.  They follow me. I’m like Twitter and they are my little followers. (Laughing)  

If I decide to put up a calendar, believe me, they  will tell me “No, mommy the calendar says we are eating Salad and Chicken Cutlet  today for dinner, Not takeout”   and they eat whatever I eat, so that too motivates me to eat the right things in front of my daughters, but  my mother is my most harsh critic. I just swallow and deal with it.

What were/are some of the habits that work for you?

• Being able to indulge in foods – but only on the weekends…Saturday and Sundays. (that includes my double cheeseburger)
• In my house you will not see soda, chips, cookies or junk food of any kind. If so, it’s unsalted, no sugar.
• I stopped eating fast foods Mon thru Fri. 
• I don’t drive my car so no more driving thru Mickey Dee’s, KFC, Popeye’s, and White Castles gaining more weight.
• I sometimes walk home.
• Occasionally, I may fast for strength, discipline, and just to give thanks to God.
• Walking around the track – usually 2 miles every other day.
• I practice Yoga - it helps me focus.
• Most importantly, I do not eat after 6:30pm
• My portions are not as huge.

What didn’t work for you?

The habits that did not work for me were: 

• The cabbage soup diet.
• Any other diet that will promise you satisfaction, and then after trying them you wonder why you put the weight back on. These diets work for some but not for me.

I know that you are very proud of how far you come, but tell us about your overall goal.

My overall goal is to capture the attention of women, who just like me, was in unhealthy relationship(s) that broke them down. We have to realize it’s not just a man who we allow to break us down… it is family, friends, life-partners, the job, and the church.  You see, we have allowed other people’s situations and ideals to overwhelm us to the point of us not taking care of ourselves. We do it to ourselves. We may find ourselves in the hospital for ailments beyond our control. We don’t want to end up their before our time.

As my friend Marilyn Small told me today:  “WHEN A WOMAN IS UNDER NEGATIVE STRESS AND ANXIETY, SHE BEGINS TO WILT AND SUCH IN HER SOUL CAN BE SEEN ON HER FACE AND IN THE DISPOSITION OF STRUGGLING THRU LIFE INSTEAD OF LIVING IT”.

Are you involved in any activities that support your new positive lifestyle?

I founded a group “Beyond Beautiful” for beautiful women (inner and outer beauty) all women are beautiful due to the fact that the Holy Spirit dwells within her (inner beauty). She must tap into her God-given beauty and illuminate it (outward beauty) 

This group supports women who want to become more knowledgeable about well-living and Eating properly is a part of well-living.  Our motto is “Help, not Hurt and Live to Give”

 

I want to continue on with what Marilyn stated, very profound:  “YOU WILL SEE HARSHNESS IN WHICH A PERSON LIVED THRU OR ARE LIVING THRU YEARS MAYBE INTO DECADES ON THEIR FACE, THEIR HEALTH, THEIR LACK OF TEETH, LACK OF SOCIAL COMMUNICATION SKILL ON POSITIVE ISSUES, LACK OF HOBBIES, ALWAYS WITH PROBLEMATIC PEOPLE NEVER SEEMING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS, HATING THE WORLD AND GAVE UP ON THEIR ESTEEM”.

Well-living begins with being around positive energy. People who want to see you do well.  I want to see all of us do well, particularly in the area of weight-loss.

Marilyn is going to kill me if I quote her one more time but I cannot help myself because she speaks exactly how I feel:  “LOT'S A TIME, I HAVE SEEN THE WOMAN LEAVE THE HOUSE NOT INTACT AND HER FIRST STATEMENT ABOUT HER SLOPPINESS APPEARANCE, "I AINT LOOKING FOR A MAN". MY QUESTION, WHY SHE COULDNT DRESS JUST TO PLEASE HERSELF"? "WHY ONE DRESS TO LOOK PRETTY BECAUSE A MAN IS SOMEWHERE INVOLVED"? WHAT ABOUT LOVING THE LITTLE GIRL WITHIN THEIR OWN BODY”. 

What would you say to someone who would like to lose weight but is finding it difficult to start or continue?

Well, I think we need to lose weight because there is a little person inside that big body waiting to come out. The goal is to find like women and support them.

If not now, when?  Another thing I would say is find a reason other than “looking good” like you want to live a long life, so you can see your great-great-grand children. (Smiling)

Any plans to celebrate once you reach your goal?

No, no celebration.  Everyday I celebrate because every single day is a struggle. I celebrate you, I celebrate me.  Every second is special because I didn’t really understand happiness until I left some previous situations. 

Bridal Tribe, I am going to be in a celebratory mode for the rest of my days. (Smiling)

 

Paulette A. O'Neal is a 15 year community advocate and activist as well as an educator.  Her leadership skills are evident in both community and church as she has been Director of the Devoe Street Baptist Church Dance Ministry for youth, Chairwoman of the Pulpit Committee, Chair of Tenants Association, Coordinator of NWR Garden Committee (Neighborhood Women’s Renaissance), and a Girl scout Troop Leader for 2 years.

She was also Program Director and Supervisor of "YOU CAN" After School Program / Summer Camp for 3 years (Teenage Pregnancy Prevention Grant).    Supervised and trained 11 Summer Youth Employment Program workers, as well as gave workshops to youth on college readiness, resume writing and job development. 

Volunteering at AmeriCorps for one year, she received 5K in a tuition scholarship.  During that time she studied to earn her BBA in Business Administration at AIU Online University (focus on Management).   Paulette also has an AAS in Marketing Management from NYC Technical College (CUNY).  

Recently, she founded "Beyond Beautiful" a Women's Advocacy Group that focuses on the self-development, creativity and empowerment of all women who consider themselves "survivors". The group emphasizes and promotes well-being, leadership, networking, literature, public speaking, youth advocacy, and the sharing of recipes for good health.  The motto is "Help not Hurt, and Live to Give"

Currently, she substitutes as a teacher for the Department of Education in New York.  In her spare time she enjoys reading, exercising and modeling.

She is a proud mother of 4.

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