http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz4YQZ01Q_AThis month Bridal Tribe will talk to those who choose to fall in love and marry… AGAIN! Second marriages come with their challenges but so do first marriages. Here’s your chance to listen in on what makes second marriages work for some couples.
I admit when I decided to do this assignment, Shalamar lyrics immediately began to play in my head. I had to pull out the record (yes I still have records) and listen to Howard Hewitt tell me to give love another chance.
I know you come a long way, baby
But you don't need that heart of stone, no
You proved that you could do it, do it, baby
You could make it on your own
But you can't keep runnin' away from love
'Cause the first one let you down, no, no, no
And though others try to satisfy you, baby
With me true love can still be found
Love can still be found
Howard’s smooth vocals sang about forgiveness, friendship, and how with him it will be better than the first time.
Since I know a few people who know a few people that made the leap a second time (and few people who are just thinking about it), I decided to find out what inspired them to risk saying I do another time. What made them explore the possibilities of blending a family? Can true love still be found a second time?
I must say that the interview was eye opening and thought provoking for me. It left me with the impression that friendship is the best foundation for second chances. Let’s see if you agree. Post your thoughts and opinions if you dare.
P.S. Enjoy the Shalamar video
Q: What point of view do you have when it comes to re-marriage?
Annette: I have only been married once and would love to try again. My view is you must grow from the first marriage otherwise the next man or a woman just has on a different pair of shoes. Lol
Kelly: I would say the biggest factor is not to bring your former problems in the first marriage to your second one. Make sure that you are mentally ready to start fresh with someone else.
Paul: I wanted to get married again. I didn’t know who or when, but I enjoyed the companionship. I just knew that I would wait until I was absolutely sure.
Q: What’s different about being/wanting to get married this time?
Kelly: maturity, maturity, maturity!
Paul: I fell for my wife pretty hard but we agreed on premarital counseling before taking the big step. That wasn’t something I did before my first marriage. The counseling made a big difference.
Annette: People act surprise when they marry the same kind of person, it’s only because they never heal from the first. When you plan to move on MOVE ON!!
Q: There are books that say we should ask questions regarding finances, morals, convictions, beliefs, children, personality, feelings and emotions. What would you say was the most important thing for you to know about your intended?
Kelly: His background and how he felt about all the issues in the question. Also, what he felt about his role in being a step-parent.
Paul: It was important to me that she was a Christian and wanted a family. We can talk about anything and she doesn’t hold anything back. That made her very attractive.
Q: Some people are blending a family and some are not, what is your experience and how did it play a role in your decision?
Kelly: Having a blended family is very serious and it is important for all parties involved to know and understand their roles and rules in order to have this type of family become successful.
Paul: Neither my wife nor I have any children from a previous relationship.
Q: What advice would you give to people who are considering a second marriage?
Kelly: In your second marriage, make sure you cover all the questions you didn't cover in your first and keep an open heart and mind.
Paul: looks are not everything! Communications is very important; watch how she treats her family and yours too.
Q: What would you say to someone who doesn’t think it worth trying again?
Kelly: Don’t do it if you’re not sure and remember marriage is not for everyone. If you failed in marriage the first time and you have the opportunity to get married again don't be afraid, the second time can be a charm or the third, fourth, or fifth.
Just for fun tell us how you/he proposed?
Kelly: The proposal was just a romantic dinner at our favorite restaurant on City Island in the Bronx.
Paul: We took a trip to visit her mom in another state and on the plane back home I told her that I wanted her to be my wife. I put the ring on her finger right then. She was really surprised.